Last week I talked a little about how I felt my faith in God could sometimes reduce my creativity. Well, I’ve recently been sensing the exact opposite in my life. I’ve been spending way too much time in front of my computer – writing, video editing, DVD authoring – and way too little time in spiritual things. I had gotten into a habit of regularly praying and reading my Bible at home after dinner, but this has been slipping.
Lately I’ve noticed my feelings for God waning, and I’ve been dwelling too much on my own personal ambitions – the temporary things of this life, in other words. Worse than that, I’ve been having a lot more problems with sin. I felt a sort of anxiety about this, because it’s not that long since I’ve been really close to God. But of course, I only have myself to blame. It was me who chose how I invested my time over the last while. But, man, it’s way too easy to slip into this trap!
Earlier tonight in church we were studying the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost (Book of Acts), where tongues of fire rested on the Christians heads and they spoke about God in different languages. It got me excited again about experiencing God in my life, and when I got home I forced every distraction out of my mind and knelt down to have a serious time of prayer (as opposed to the hurried three-minute episodes I’d been doing). Of course, it was exactly what I needed.
Thing are going to get better fast. I’m determined not to end up as one of those half-hearted Christians who make their way through life with a little bit of religion tagged on, and never really know anything of the reality of God, and never really do anything for him.
Hey Darryl
You really are such an inspiration to me. I cant take my eyes off your blog. I too have the same spiritual problems (if you know what i mean
How do you get these sinful thoughts out of your head?
How are you coping with these changes to your life?
Hi, Emma. I seem to write so little about my Christian faith these days; that’s got to change. Thanks for the encouragement.
Thanks for your post, Darryl. Truly an encouragement. I’m in a dry season with God myself. I’m praying for change. Our church is having an Encountering God Retreat in March. These things are supposed to be really powerful (there’s several that happen worldwide at any given time). I need a breakthrough.
It’s also good that you noticed your spiritual life was slipping. That’s a sign you’re still under Grace. It’s when you stop worrying that there’s a problem. A really huge problem.
I, too, am going through a dry phase. I think that the biggest problem that I am having is with my church. I love my church, as they’ve been with me through the divorce, but it is also the only church that Sarah and I had chosen together. It was “our” church. Now, I find myself remembering her every time I go there. To make matters worse, Sarah has completely backslidden and isn’t taking our daughter to church at all when she has her. So I don’t want to be searching for a new church where Kaitlyn doesn’t know anyone during the two weeks a month that I have her. I’m still praying daily and reading my Bible regularly, but these things are starting to feel more like chores than acts of communing with my Creator. Any prayers from my Brothers and Sisters are greatly appreciated.
Thanks for the comments, Adam & Jeff. My original post was quite an old one. I guess I’ve reached a sort of equilibrium with myself these days. I never “backslide,” as the saying goes, but I’m nowhere near the man I should be.
I’ve experienced serious heartbreak in my life, too. When I was about 24, I had a whole year tainted with sorrow and anger. All I can stay is lean on God. When I was at rock bottom emotionally, he was more real than ever. (And for anyone else reading, that’s not me being melodramatic; I’ll blog about the experience sometime.)