"Meat cleaver in shoulder" effect

Ouch! Don’t you just hate it when somebody comes up to you and sticks a meat cleaver in your shoulder? What’s the world coming to?

Obviously this is one of Midnight Pictures’ special effects, courtesy of Andrew Harrison. I’ve decided to start blogging about the tips & tricks of filmmaking-on-the-cheap that Andrew and I have learned in our many years of experience as low-budget filmmakers.

We’ve borrowed this one from the master, Tom Savini. First, you need a suitable implement such as a cleaver or axe - something with a reasonably wide blade. Then you need someone who has the kind of equipment that can cut through the blade. You get them to cut an oval shape out of it. Then all you have to do is press the gap against a suitable part of your body, and with the help of a little stage blood, presto! For our effect, we also drilled a couple of small holes in the cleaver, one on each side of the gap, allowing us to tie on some elastic and feed it under my armpit to prevent the cleaver from falling off.

A more elaborate variation on this effect can be seen on Dawn of the Dead (1970s version), where one of the bikers slams the blade of his machete into a zombie’s forehead. Here’s how to make the motion convincing: start the shot with the blade already embedded in the forehead, then have the actor pull it away very quickly. The editor then plays the shot in reverse, and it looks as if the machete cuts right into the zombie’s head. The final touch is to quickly move on to another shot before you need to show the blood spurting.

Zombie Genocide fans will be confused about what the above photograph relates to, because “Doc” (i.e. me) is clearly a lot older than he was in that film. Well, a couple of years ago, Andrew and I recorded a trailer for an as-yet-unmade film entitled Shadow of the Dead. We’ve kept fairly quiet about this project. There are no firm plans to make it, but it’s the one Andrew and I keep talking about.

Zombie Genocide on Wikipedia

Wikipedia is one of the coolest resources in the web for information. It’s a constantly growing encyclopedia written by the general public. A short article on Zombie Genocide has suddenly appeared, also featuring the cover art from the film. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: despite being our oldest and tackiest film, Zombie Genocide continues to be our most appreciated. This is evidenced by the fact that you won’t find a Wikipedia article on any of our others films.

I sometimes find it interesting to type “Zombie Genocide” into Google and see what comes up. Here’s a list of some of the more interesting findings from a recent search:

• ZG synopsis at Wikipedia
• ZG review at The Rumour Machine
• ZG review at Trash City
• ZG review at Undead Films
• ZG synopsis EOFF TV
• ZG synopsis at the Internet Movie Database
• ZG theme music at MacIdol
• ZG review at Buried.com
• ZG review at the Zombie Movie Database
• ZG review at Cryptic Subterranean
• ZG soundtrack at Back 2 the Roots
• ZG review at the Grim Reaper’s Ghastly Grotto
• ZG mentioned in a review of Undead at Rotten Tomatoes
• ZG discussed in a forum at SpaceBattles.com
• ZG DVD sleeve at CD Covers
• ZG mentioned at the Zombie Movie Fanlist
• ZG mentioned in a review of The Porcelain Man at The Zone
• ZG reviewed at Zuti Titl [foreign]
• ZG mentioned at Film Ireland
• ZG reviewed at the hr.rec.film newsgroup
• ZG screenshot at Mixel Magic
• ZG review at Nowa Gildia [foreign]

Short story competition: The James White Award

I’ve just come across an excellent short story competition. The prize is a nice trophy and publication in Britian’s leading short story mag, Interzone. But the best thing about the contest is that it’s only open to non-professional writers. Talk about cutting down the competition!

I’ve licked my short story Calling All Time Travellers into shape and submitted it. Unfortunately it was 400 words over the maximum allowed length, so I had to give it bit of a “hair-cut.” It was an interesting experience hunting for bits to snip, not something I’ve deliberately done before, but I have a feeling the story is all the better for it. I’ve also changed the title of the story to Time Travel for Dummies, a deliberate reference to the Dummies book series.

Check out the full competition details below.

Recipe: Garlic pizza thing

Having lived three years on my own, I think I’ve grasped at least some skill in the kitchen. I’ve developed a couple of interesting recipes that I make with some regularity. I’m not the sort of guy who buys a recipe book; I simply like to try a few combinations of things now and then, and occasionally I hit on something pretty tasty. I’m also fairly health conscious, so you will find plenty of vegetable content in my meals.

Ingredients: pizza base, garlic butter, mozzarella cheese, prawns, mushrooms, red onions, fine beans. Don’t ask me about quantities; it’s entirely up to you. I like lots of everything. You can obviously try different vegetables and meats as toppings; this is simply my favourite combo. But whatever you do, don’t use regular cheddar cheese; it just doesn’t cook properly.

You don’t need many instructions for making this. Obviously the butter and cheese go onto the garlic bread first. Load everything else on and cook it in a pre-heated oven until it looks, well, cooked. The only additional tip I can give you is that I like to heat the prawns and vegetables in a wok with a little olive oil for a couple of minutes, before putting them onto the pizza. This will stop the oven from singeing your vegetables, and I think it improves the taste, too.

Oven chips optional, but while you’ve got the oven on, you might as well. And before you ask - yes, it’s all for me.

Chionophobia cover design - Part III

More than one person suggested that the dead kid on my design needed more work to make him blend into the photo. And the main problem with Mark’s design seemed to be the need for something extra, such as a child’s hand on the snow, or a shadow falling over the picture.

I’m torn between my own design and Mark’s, so I’ve had a go at designing a hybrid version of the two (click picture to expand). Usually that’s a bad approach, because you’ll end up with two scenes competing for the viewer’s attention, but because Mark’s design is so subtle, I think it works.

I spent one whole morning going through the entire database at 1001 Free Fonts. What I was looking for was something clear, futuristic, and exuding a sense of threat. I’m trying out a font called Ethnocentric, which appealed to me from yesterday’s Mind’s Eye cover design. I think it strikes a good balance between clarity and style.

My friend Earl had this to say about an early version of the hybrid cover: “A monstrous mutation of the two, almost Frankensteinian in nature.” Cheek! Actually his point is well taken. After several revisions, I’m now getting good reports from all parties about this design, so I think I’ve nailed it.

A quick graphic design project: Mind’s Eye

My author friend Philip Henry, from Coleraine, has just completed his second novel, Mind’s Eye. He took some photos for his cover, and I asked him if he would send them my way so that I could have a go myself. Phil’s photos were of a cave entrance, the sea & beach, and the moon. His idea was to make the cave appear like the edge of an eye, with the sea forming the iris, and the moon the pupil. I thought the overall effect wouldn’t look enough like an eye, so I added one more photo of my own eye. Voila.

I’m still a Photoshop novice, and this little project offered me a bit of a challenge, such as transforming day into night, and airbrushing the moon’s reflection onto the water. I worked purely by trial and error and surprised myself with how it turned out. Hope you like it.

Chionophobia cover design - Part II

My stateside friend Mark Stevens just gave me a wonderful surprise. What you’re looking at is Mark’s own design for a Chionophobia cover (click the image for a larger version). It’s totally different from my approach. I love the simplicity of the design, and the blood-spatter is the perfect touch (little did Mark know that this aspect ties in very well with a particular scene from the novel). The only thing I don’t like is the text. Other than that, I think the design is terrific, and I might end up using it (or a variaton on it). Thanks, Mark!

In defence of self-publishing

I’ve just read an article in Brian Keene’s World Domination 101 blog entitled “Self-Publishing Swine.” The title pretty much sums up Keene’s attitude to self-publishing. I’m a big defender of the self-publishing route, so I thought I’d give a rebuttal to Keene’s three main reasons for avoiding self-publishing.

Reason #1 not to self-publish: You need an editor

I agree with the point. Every author is his own worst editor. But there is nothing stopping any writer from paying a professional editor to give his manuscript the red-pen treatment. All right, I admit that most self-published authors don’t do this, and it gives rise to an ocean of sub-standard fiction, but the answer is not to avoid self-publishing. The answer is to get editorial input, make whatever improvements are needed, then self-publish. I have no doubt that Keene made this point because he observed that in 99% of cases a self-published work is an unedited work, but there’s nothing stopping any writer from being that other one percent.

Reason #2 not to self-publish: You need an audience

“How do you attract readers?” asks Keene. Well, you market your book, of course. That means you sit for an hour or two with the Yellow Pages in front of you and you phone bookstore after bookstore, and the next day you load up the car and make the deliveries. You contact your local newspapers and TV stations, and get them to do a piece on you. You do all the things that a publisher/publicist would do for you. Whatever it takes to get the sales moving. I’ll admit, 99% of the time self-published authors won’t do the work, or have unrealistic expectations about how much they’ll have to do. Like I said above, be the other one percent.

Reason #3 not to self-publish: You need to be taken seriously

Oh yes, I’ve heard about the stigma attached to self-publishing, that it’s not regarded as true publishing. But I’ve had very little experience of being at the butt end of this attitude - only self-inflicted experience. When I self-published my first novel, Ulterior, a few guest-invites for sci-fi conventions landed at my doorstep, and I turned them all down because I felt like a fake, even though no one was treating me like one. Nevertheless, I’ll admit that the stigma is real, and I’m not surprised it’s there, because, let’s face it, a lot of self-published novels are dung. But my experience of marketing my own novel has been universally positive. Nobody ever said, “Pah! You’re just one of those self-published writers.” It amazes me that you can be taken seriously as an independent artist or filmmaker, but for some reason there’s supposed to be something wrong with being an independent author.

In three years I sold my complete stock of 1,000 copies of Ulterior, an average of one book sale per day. Not exactly enough to make a living from, but then that was never the point. It’s a result, and it justifies everything I’ve been saying above. There are no shelves full of unsaleable books in my home. And I’m getting ready to do it all again.

The defence rests.

Chionophobia cover design

I’ve done a little dabbling with Photoshop, just to get some of my thoughts for the cover design of Chionophobia down. I’m aiming for something very white, with the school building in the background and a schoolboy face down in the snow in the foreground.

Another element I wanted to incorporate was the words “HELP 700 NEED FOOD” written on the lawn. A friend pointed out that the most prominent thing on the help message is the word “food,” which looks a bit daft and conveys about as much drama as a loaf of bread. So, I’ve used a little artistic licence and shortened the message to simply “HELP.” I’ve also splashed some red (the colour of danger) into the design, because all that white looked very stark and depressing.

It may not be good to judge a book by its cover, but the cover is exactly what makes people lift it off shelf. I think I’m starting off in the right direction.

An excerpt from my forthcoming novel, Chionophobia

Here’s the first ever public excerpt from my forthcoming novel, Chionophobia. I may post a larger chunk closer to publishing time, but for now, here’s how the story gets rolling:

Chapter 1: Screamers
You would expect to hear the occasional scream, when you spent seven hours a day, five days a week, in this place. But you’d know it was nothing serious; just a couple of hyperactive boys getting a little too zealous in their horseplay, or maybe two quarrelling girls pulling the hair out of each other. With fifty classrooms in Clounagh Junior High School, all connected by long, thin corridors, it wasn’t difficult for sound to travel. And with six hundred and fifty children aged eleven to fourteen in varying degrees of hyperactivity, there was a high likelihood that, every now and then, you’d hear scream or two coming from another part of the building, and it wouldn’t alarm you.

But fourteen-year-old Jamie Metcalfe was alarmed, so alarmed that he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. The other pupils in room twenty-two had the same reaction; they abruptly stopped moving and speaking, despite the break-time bell having rung less than a minute ago, causing everyone to burst into chatter and fuss with their schoolbags.

These were not the usual sort of screams; these conjured up pictures in Jamie’s mind of a certain kind of story you’d see infrequently on the news: the report of a maniac coming into a school wielding a gun.

The muffled quality of the screams made it seem like whatever was happening was not taking place right outside the room, but was not very far away, either. It seemed as if there were as many as five people making noise. The shrieks were loud and gravelly, enough to make anyone hoarse. At a lower volume, but audible in the gaps between the screams, were terrified sobs.

The sensible thing to do was stay put, but it was only a matter of time before curiosity got the better of someone. And within a few seconds Alex Vennard dashed for the door.

Mr Reed, who had been mesmerised like the rest of the class, came to his senses. “Alex, don’t go out there!”

It was too late. Like cattle, everyone streamed out after Alex, creating a bottleneck at the door, as pupils tried to squeeze past each another.

“Stay inside! It might not be safe!” Mr Reed protested, but his words fell on deaf ears.

Jamie was the last pupil to exit the room. Everyone else had formed a line along the corridor windows, their faces gazing downward.

Room twenty-two was on the upper floor of the school. Panes of glass all along one side of the corridor overlooked the playground below.

“I don’t get it,” someone said.

“This is weird,” another remarked.

“What’s wrong with them?”

Jamie squeezed between two pupils and peered down, seeing just what he expected: the school playground, a carpet of pure, seamless white, shining so bright that he had to squint. The snow had fallen during period one, and had kept going for about an hour and fifteen minutes, ceasing as abruptly as it had started. It wouldn’t provide much depth on the ground, but a snowball was a snowball regardless of how much work you had to do to pack it together. The pupils had watched the flakes fall beyond the classroom windows. Some of the girls had oohed and ahhed, and everyone was looking forward to getting outdoors and pelting each other senseless.

When Jamie’s eyes adjusted to the brightness, he saw the focus of everyone’s attention. From this vantage point, he could see the foyer jutting out of the building and the doors which led to the playground standing open. Seven pupils were lying in the snow, just outside those doors. They had their coats and gloves on, were screaming and writhing, but seemed unable to move much, as if wounded. Just inside the doors, a crowd had gathered.

“Why don’t they get up?” Claire Forbes asked. “Have they been injured?”

“Injured by what?” Jamie wondered. “I was thinking it was somebody with a gun, but we didn’t hear shots or anything.”

“Silencer?” Alex suggested.

“Don’t be daft!” Daniel Richards objected. “You’ve been watching too much CSI.”

“Have you got a better idea?”

“Look at everybody,” Claire said. “Why are they just standing there? Why doesn’t somebody go out and help them?”

“They’re afraid of being shot,” Alex suggested.

“If they were afraid of being shot, they wouldn’t be standing in the doorway,” Jamie said.

Beyond the windows in the foyer, he could see the crowd growing steadily. The mass suddenly surged, pushing five persons - three of them teachers - through the doors, where each one of them immediately tripped, landing in heap on top of the other casualties. They started struggling, but couldn’t seem to stand up.

Jamie caught sight of something in particular about one of the pupils in the snow: a red and white striped woolly hat that he’d given to someone special for Christmas last month.

Mr Reed piped up. “Whatever’s going on, it looks serious. Now will everyone please go back into the room so that I can - Jamie! Get back here!”

Jamie Metcalfe kept running, shoving his way past pupils from other classes who had also come out for a look, having heard the screams.

Moving house - Part III

I’ve just closed the sale of my current house for an incredible £123,500. That’s £8,500 above the asking price. At several points I thought the bidding was over, then a surprise bidder would turn up and yank the price even higher.

Just shy of three years ago, I bought this house for £70,000, and I’m now selling it for £53,500 more than that! Hard to believe this kind of thing can happen in the property market.

I’ve now made an appointment to set up a mortgage. Everything’s running smoothly so far.