Reflecting on a difficult summer

Summer was tough, this year. My workplace (a school) largely turns into a ghost town over summer, which means I spend a lot of time alone in there for two months. On top of that, now than I’m a home-owner (and single), I was spending a lot of my evening time alone, too. I found that it affected me in ways I didn’t like, and I was very glad when things got back to normal in September.

Summer was also tough on me spiritually. I found my enthusiasm for Bible study and prayer and church waning drastically. I let things slide in a big way and it became increasingly difficult to live a holy life. In the end, the only thing for it was to pick a short time each day, reserve it for God, and absolutely force myself to sit down and read a chapter of the Bible then pray for a couple of minutes, while every impulse in my mind is telling me to do something else. Makes you wonder if there isn’t something (or someone) else affecting my mind, if you get my meaning.

I’ll tell you something else, this kind of experience is something that the critics of Christianity should note – those who think we’re weak-minded and in need an emotional crutch to lean on. Being a Christian is hard work at times. Sometimes giving up gets very attractive, and the only things keeping you going are your confidence in its truth and your sense of duty to God.

I still haven’t really got back my passion for the Bible, but I’m persevering, keeping in mind that it’s the things I’m learning bit by bit are helping me to be a better person. And in the future I’ll be able to be more useful to God.

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