I’d like to share my Christian testimony with you, but there’s just one problem: I don’t have one. Well, what I mean is, I don’t have a dramatic story about recovery from alcholism or drugs or crime. You see, I was a nice guy, and nice guys tremble at the question “Would you like to give your testimony at the meeting tomorrow night?” because we have nothing interesting to say. When I get asked that question, I usually end up talking about all the stuff that happened after I became a Christian, because it was a rocky road for me. But we’ll get to that later.
In short, I became a Christian when I was seventeen. I did it because I believed in God, and because somebody enlightened me regarding what the Bible says about salvation and damnation. There were no tears of repentence, just a quiet willingness to follow God’s ways and an expectation that something which had been missing from my life was about to fall into place. Before I made the commitment, I asked myself if this decision would mean I would lose out on the best things in life. But I knew the answer was no; I understood that God’s wisdom was perfect, so his way must be the best way to live. I didn’t realise at the time how deep that thought was. You see, I’ve since met plenty of people who don’t grasp it; they believe in God but won’t commit. They say “Maybe next year” or whatever. Aside from the risk you run with your soul if you should die unexpectedly, the mentality behind this attitude just doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t give God proper recognition as the one who knows perfectly what’s best for us. But then, I guess sin is pretty seductive. To my shame, I’ve learned more about that since becoming a Christian than I ever did beforehand.
People like me have one important thing they can say in their testimony: sin is sin, no matter how great or small. All of it is against God. And we are dealing with a God who demands perfection. The small-time sinner needs forgiveness just as much as the big-time variety.
So, this expectation of something falling into place – did it happen? Well, the answer to that is yes, but not in a permanent way. Only weeks after becoming a Christian, a fierce battle began with an enemy called Doubt. And I would fight this enemy for thirteen years before I would win. And that’s a story for next time.