Life out of balance

child_addicted_to_video_gamesBack in 2008, when I changed my beliefs radically, I started learning about a whole different kind of spirituality that was nothing like what you hear about in church. This wasn’t a spirituality that you could digest in one sitting. It look years of working out, years of seeing through false assumptions that I had been unconsciously making all my life, years of gradually increasing clarity. During this learning phase, all the toxic influences on my life seemed to fall away, because I was so excited to invest my time in learning and contemplation, as well as experimenting with parapsychology, and I experienced a lot of happiness.

But in the past couple of years, my life has fallen massively out of balance. The learning feels like it’s mostly complete, which creates extra time. And all I’ve done with that time is to fill it with videogames and TV and other forms of emotional stimulation (ahem!). As a result, I feel sedated and depressed.

This evening I went for a long walk in the dark, and it was exactly what the doctor ordered, because it gave me the mental space I needed to figure out the root of the problem. It’s time to start cutting back drastically on all the noise that I fill my head with, and start regularly communing with the Infinite, like I used to.

What do I mean “communing with the Infinite”? Like talking to God? Not exactly. The Ground of Being is not a cosmic personality. But it is possible to sit alone and feel that the world of your senses is a veneer over a more fundamental reality, to allow that reality to remain an unfathomable mystery, and to understand that you are one with it. Why did I stop regularly doing that? It enriched my consciousness so much. Nowadays, my head is full of garbage and all I can think about is what I’m going to consume next. Time to fix this.

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4 thoughts on “Life out of balance


    That’s great to hear.

  2. Take a trip to California and look me up. Doctor Bristow has prescribed you a motorcycle ride through Yosemite National park. A guaranteed cure all for damned near anything. Not kidding… Get out here. Peace, B.E.B.

  3. Michael says:

    Awareness without meditation and some sort of structure to the day is like a baby left on a battlefield.

  4. greg says:

    Just a quick thought about consciousness. Consider if the memories of a person’s life were retained somewhere after their death. These are the memories of any random person, and they are colored with all the emotion and feelings that the original person felt and experienced. What if you could tap into and have and experience these memories, and feel all the emotions and sensations of that particular individual?

    Would you consider it like a past life? Wouldn’t it feel to you as if that person was “you” at a different time? Even though you know that it was someone else who lived that life, it would feel to you like that person was you. In fact, what is the difference?

    Just some thoughts to consider along the lines you seem to be thinking lately.

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