Back in 2008, when I changed my beliefs radically, I started learning about a whole different kind of spirituality that was nothing like what you hear about in church. This wasn’t a spirituality that you could digest in one sitting. It look years of working out, years of seeing through false assumptions that I had been unconsciously making all my life, years of gradually increasing clarity. During this learning phase, all the toxic influences on my life seemed to fall away, because I was so excited to invest my time in learning and contemplation, as well as experimenting with parapsychology, and I experienced a lot of happiness.
But in the past couple of years, my life has fallen massively out of balance. The learning feels like it’s mostly complete, which creates extra time. And all I’ve done with that time is to fill it with videogames and TV and other forms of emotional stimulation (ahem!). As a result, I feel sedated and depressed.
This evening I went for a long walk in the dark, and it was exactly what the doctor ordered, because it gave me the mental space I needed to figure out the root of the problem. It’s time to start cutting back drastically on all the noise that I fill my head with, and start regularly communing with the Infinite, like I used to.
What do I mean “communing with the Infinite”? Like talking to God? Not exactly. The Ground of Being is not a cosmic personality. But it is possible to sit alone and feel that the world of your senses is a veneer over a more fundamental reality, to allow that reality to remain an unfathomable mystery, and to understand that you are one with it. Why did I stop regularly doing that? It enriched my consciousness so much. Nowadays, my head is full of garbage and all I can think about is what I’m going to consume next. Time to fix this.